DB Advice to a newbie

[Dawgs]

My biggest question/worry is how I handle every day or interaction. Im so sick and tired and emotionally drained from analyzing every word thats said and wondering if I did this or that wrong, said the right thing.
I have already grown from this, but I’d be an absolute fool to not try my damn hardest to save my family.

Hey Kilo! Bravo Zulu for you doing your best to keep your family together. Navy here.

In all honesty, you are doing what you should be doing. The golden rule is this: she is on her own road and while it may not have enough room for you to travel with her, its her road. And she must travel it herself.

You need to do what's best for you. And that's all you can do. First and foremost, take care of yourself. Your life. Your health. Your emotional well being.

Remember the butterfly adage? If a butterfly lands in your hand and you squeeze it, what happens? It kills it, right? Now, if you keep your hand open its free to go...it may or may not choose to alight back in your hand, but that's its own choosing. I can tell you from experience (not with my ex, but with a recent one I just got out of) that if you wrap your hand around it, there is absolutely no chance. Now, I'm not giving you that "if you love someone set them free, if they come back to you it was meant to be" advice, because that's a load of horse crap. The honest truth is that most times they don't. Fact.

But you are here. And with this, you will better be able to grow and become the best you can - not for her, but YOU and the kids. None of this is about her anymore. You and only you.

I am a year out from my divorce now. Life couldn't be better. I just closed on my house and removed her as much as I can from every bit of my life, with the exception of the kids. That I can't change. But to me, she is gone.