New LBS dealing with WW (Part 5)

[Joe2017]

Surfer:
I'm doing my best for me and my boy. I'm no longer allowed to contact S14 so that was a bummer but WW is still definitely in "the fog". She has TM multiple times for me to call her because she has important things to talk about but when I responded back it all ended up being trivial stuff that did not need to be a phone call.

So, the temp checks continue. It's very odd coming from someone who used to be so rational. It's really like she lost a lot of her sanity over the past couple months. She is not a logical person anymore.

I've been taking this time away from her to heal as much as possible. I'm trying to just embrace the feelings of sadness and lonliness. It has been difficult but I'm adjusting. I know I need to be in a better place mentally and emotionally before I see her again at mediation. Physically I'm fine. I'm stronger than I've been in years and I shed almost 50 pounds. Don't worry though, I'm eating fine. Just eating better than I have for a while.

I'm getting there. Been spending a lot of time with old friends and making new connections as much as possible. I'm starting to see that the road ahead is not too bad. I have accepted that the marriage is over and my wife is gone. I have NO desire to be married to WW. She would have to do a lot of her own 180's to convince me that I should give her a second chance.

I'm ok. I'm very proud of myself for being so dedicated to DBing and my 180s. I think that I did LRT nearly perfectly starting less than 3 weeks after BD. Of course I had all of you wonderful people here to help me get to where I am today.

I could not have done anything more, nor could I have tried harder to save the MR.

Abohn:
I'm not seeking reconciliation. That would imply that I have some kind of control over WW's waywardness, and I don't. I just have to let go of it all and focus on myself and my child.