SD Diary Monday afternoon. Feeling despondent today after a dull weekend and still feeling no desire whatsoever and no flashes of sex drive at all. My leaning is to give the project a rest for a while. I keep thinking back to last Friday night where I made my move driven purely by the need to keep the project moving forward. My move was not rejected but was received with total indifference. For the first time in my life I was caressing my W yet feeling nothing. Through this ND state I was able to view the situation objectively and realised that sex where only one partner participates is not making love. If making love is two partners participating, sharing and enjoying love together then we have never had that. At no time in our entire relationship has she ever laid a hand on my body or given anything of herself for my pleasure other than lying back and thinking of England. I do not believe that she is capable of experiencing even a fleeting flash of desire for me. Yes she is my best friend and the mother of my children so must I just accept the hand I have been dealt? SD
