Wife wont admit to affair, its driving me nuts! 2

[Surfer]

Morbo,

All very familiar stuff. WW doesn't have a drink problem (but I've done plenty of holding back the hair as she is sick in the past - ha ha), however your point 2 was a killer for me too.

Taking on board V's points, how about sating I would like a relationship where:

I'm never going to go out with her and at least try unless she..

1 My W is able to stay in control of her drinking or stop.
2 I am not constantly feeling incapable of escaping my mistakes (no matter how small) - this is a killer in any relationship, constantly digging up old bones etc - this is clear abuse BTW.
3 My W is getting the support she needs.
4 My W is faithful.
5 My W chooses me over others.

This is not unreasonable to say. Would you chose a partner for your kids that has a drink problem and is abusive and has some 'issues' and is unfaithful and chooses others over them. No of course not, it would be ridiculous to choose this partnership.

Surfer.