I agree with NicoleR, it's an unusual situation in how much emotion your W shows you at times, but because of those texts you saw (which confirm at minimum an EA), I have to believe that it's just cake eating and you would likely get the most value out of not allowing her to do it.
The natural instinct is to take what you can get, be nice and maybe she will remember how much she loves you and want to come back. But in reality, allowing them to still lean on you when they want to, means that you are helping them transition (proving support) while they leave you.
It seems you are doing well in not begging, pleading, etc., but I think you would be served well to decide that you will not be her bestie to cushion the impact of her choices, and telling her so.
With that said, in my 2 years here, your W is more affectionate and friendly towards you than anyone else I've seen, which makes be believe (not know) that a big part of her wants to be with you.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
