I do hear it and I think to myself maybe this isn't MLC? He paints the whole picture as bad. But then I think about it all and my logic tells me something really happened to him.
I'll re-enforce what others have said: do not let their fake "certainty" distort your memory and history. Step away, ignore them and reassess and you will see it is not accurate. I was thrown for a loop too, thinking "oh my god this has been so terrible" and then when I snapped out of it realized how ridiculous the distortions of reality were from my wife. There was a clear pre and post MLC crises experience, but she had rewritten the past and absolutely believed it.
I think it was AmyC here that wrote something to this effect: you the LBS are the one who is holding the real version of your marriage. Don't forget that, whatever the outcome. I believe it is critical to hold the past for what it really was and to honor what I had.
