M - Your strength will come as you gain confidence which goes hand in hand with detaching. You also need to step back and take a good look at the R and evaluate it objectively for what it is. If you diligently follow the rules you will gain self-respect and also your W's. Once you start to learn and grow as a person I guarantee you your feelings towards your W will change and you will no longer view her in the same light.
Early on there is this perceived power struggle because she appears strong and you weak because she took your comfortable life away from you. Over time though that will change and you will start to view her as the weak one in the R. You will start to see through her.
I do understand how and believe now that most LBS's will have a shot at RECON again. Like AS and others say though it will not happen on our timeline, could very well occur after the D and most likely by that time the LBS has moved on.
For me it feels like a break up when I was younger with a GF, you would get mad and jealous and dare her to leave then after a couple of weeks you missed them and they blow you off. Then you slowly rebuild and get over it, but just then she shows up thinking she really screwed and didn’t like what she saw out there and wants to try again. By this time you normally say I’m good, too late. Obviously this is a MR and it’s more complex and mature we have house and kids and responsibilities. Detachment is what I will work on to build my confidence once again. Thank you.
