Thank you. I am surprised y’all are saying the same thing. What I would say today:
W—
I love you. I don’t want to be D and I am encouraged that you say you don’t want to be D now either. However, right now we are unhappily M and neither of us want that. We both have raised serious issues with our R that need to be addressed. If we keep doing the same things I am afraid we won’t address them and we won’t heal.
As you know, I have committed to an apartment in town and have decided that I will continue with my plan to move out later this week. Right now, I see this as the best way for us to rediscover one another, not as H and W and the roles we play, but as people. You told me you feel suffocated by me and M and I hope that this will give us both some breathing room.
After I move out, I want us to date one another exclusively and as you said “see what happens.” We can date platonically until such time that we both want something more. We can work on the romance and passion and not just fall back into old routines. We are different and we can rediscovwr one another.
My goal in all of this is for us to be happily married to one another. Two summers ago you said you wanted a new M with me. I want the same.
***
Maybe I should write this to her as a letter?
I am thinking more along....
W,
I hear you when you say that you want to see where this goes. And I am open to new beginnings, to see where things will land for us.
However, I feel that it is still in my best interest to proceed with moving out. My lease is for 12 months, and we can re-access things then. I would really like the chance to make things anew between us, and I prefer to think about moving, as a chance at us, rather than an ending to us.
