I would have the mediator do the negotiating. Trying to negotiate w/a MLCer is trying to pin down a moving target. One day, they will give it all to you and the next day threaten to take it all away if you don't do what they want. Please don't put yourself in a twist over trying to negotiate w/him. He will change his mind many times before the D is finalized. May I ask....why do you feel the need to continue negotiating w/your h? All it is going to do is make him angry and he will feel like he's being pushed into a corner and will come out swinging. This behavior will do nothing but make you more confused and second guess your decisions. Stick with the mediator and allow him/her to do the dirty work for you.
As for living in the home, if you like the area and it is located where you can take your son to school, then go for it. You won't know if this is doable until the day you both are at the table negotiating. Also, have you given any consideration to buying him out of the equity in the home after the divorce? Check into this. You may be able to afford a loan and with his child support be able to stay right where you are. I wouldn't do anything about the home, i.e., sell it, refinance, etc., until after the divorce. I would make the home part of the divorce settlement.
BTW, my xh wanted me to auction off all of the furniture and either sell or pay him off before the divorce. I kept all of the furniture and I have all of his tools, ladders, etc. At the time the divorce was signed and stamped, I was given 90 days to refinance or sell the home. I refinanced at a cheaper rate and I paid him off. He was so desperate to divorce me that I even negotiated right there in the waiting area of the courtroom for $10,000 of his IRA account and got it. So, things can change right up to the last minute.
All MLCers see is $$$$ and wanting to run. Their empathy chips are broken and will not realize until many years down the road after a divorce as to what they have lost. Mine asked for things from my home 3 years after the divorce...what did I do? Told him to go to KMart and get what he needed. LOL!
