Maya, I have been so gung ho to move forward, that there is no mystery about me. As much as I believe in the power of mystery, we've been joined at the hip lately. Before the bomb, H and I were best friends and lovers, as well as married. Well, the lovers part kind of waned. Part of our problem, I think. We are right back to doing everything together. We really enjoy each other's company, but I know that's not good. He has no opportunity to miss me or wonder what I am up to. Or think maybe I am having more fun without him. What's to miss or worry about when I'm always right there with him.
It's so hard when whenever I walk in the room, he smiles and lets me know he's happy I'm there... makes me want to spend more time with him, not less.
Well, you're right in your aim, that's for sure. I was getting great results when I was going out after work with friends. That's the time H went from saying he "didn't care" about me to constantly questioning me about the men I was out with.
I didn't want to push the jealousy thing for sure. It was enough to find out he cared enough to be jealous.
The problem is that I don't have any friends that aren't his friends. Hard to create mystery when all my friends were his friends first. I was thinking about joining a mountain biking club but was afraid. I wasn't sure I was in good enough shape for that. However, after going away with H to mountain bike and finding out what "hard" is, I know I'm capable. Maybe it's time to join...
