I've made a different choice than a lot of folks here. Don't know if that is because I am a lawyer, or my lawyer, whom I like and respect is adamant on this point, but I have not filed for divorce.
My status quo is good. My H is thus far supporting us. We are still in our house. After pushing me to sell it supposedly because of the expense (but really because he wanted us to move near him) he freaked out when we were going to move away and said not to sell. I didn't ultimately because of S's school. So we are still in the house.
My son is a 9th grader and is attending a very good school. Our area is very expensive. The house has skyrocketed in value. I plan to stay here until son graduates and then move, when I can go anywhere I want.
I have big custody concerns with my son. The status quo is good for us there too. He is leaving us alone and not subjecting S to his crazy life.
Once S graduates, we have only a financial division. We have already split our possessions. We have a post nup that gives us each our own retirement (I have significantly more than him). I'm not going to contest giving him half of the sale of the house, so the only remaining issue is alimony. I have my own income, so whatever happens with that happens, but I am in the best state in the country in a long-term marriage and should be well-protected.
I guess what I am saying is that every situation is different. Limbo s*ucks and I frequently spazz out about it. But I am learning. I am using the next 3 years or so (until I put the house on the market) to work on me, on my business (I'm self-employed), and to enjoy my kids.
Forge your own path. Do what works for you. Try to live a life without regret (hard I know). So far, I'm pretty good on that score though.
