Bye bye limbo -- it's time for a change

[mleigh4]

Hello friends,

Bttrfly, Cali, Job, Dnj, thanks for the support and feedback.

I'm feeling a bit frustrated. I have backed off since Monday with H and D. I have not brought it up so he can have some time to let things sink in. In the meantime, here I am ready to go forward with this, and once again, letting poor sensitive H have some space to adjust. I don't remember getting this courtesy at and after BD?

I had to see him yesterday to pick up S and he was skittish, keeping up conversation and not allowing any silence for me to bring up anything. I wonder if he has done one single thing to look into things to ease his worries?

How much time should I give before bringing it up?? Should I just wait until after snow trip in 3 weeks? I worry if I keep pushing it he will react in anger.

My biggest concern remains our home. Him going from allowing us to stay in the home until S finishes HS (7 years) and him saying he just wants to make sure S and I are taken care of......to selling the house and no more money makes me uncomfortable. Quite a flip when faced with reality.

I looked into rents around here, it runs about $1000 more than what our home costs. Job you mentioned buying out H but that would add about $2000k to the current loan amount, which I can't pay on my own. However I say this without really knowing what I would get with child support and alimony, which I would fully go after if he forces us out.

He would be so much better off letting things lay as they are. I would be so much more willing to negotiate. Sadly people are filling his head with thoughts that will destroy our friendship and the calm we have established.

I understand his wanting his equity now, but he has a daddy with money who I am sure would loan him money until pay back when house sells.

Do I keep all these thoughts and ideas to myself or do I bring this up? Keep any and all discussions to mediation? What if he drags his feet with agreeing to mediation? I struggle with that.

I just keep telling myself, it will be ok. Last resort, I let this keep riding out to keep things stable for S and I. It's a scary thought to stay in this limbo for years longer but I am actually considering that.....

I'm confused by his reactions guys....and I hear Job saying, sit quietly and the answers will come. So here I am again doing just that.

Wishing you all a nice weekend and strength, for myself too!

M