Lots of different answers here! What it comes down to is what works for you and the boys, and it may take some tweaking. In my case, S was 6. No way did I or S feel comfortable going with H for a week at a time, he was too irresponsible and unstable at the time. I stood my ground and dug my heels in on that one. S was also pretty verbal about wanting to be with me. We came up with S going with H every Monday night, Thursday night, and every other Saturday night. It is not 50/50 but we haven't been dealing with the courts yet.
S is now almost 11 and I check in with him about the schedule every now and then. He says it still works for him. We have done some tweaking because of H work schedule, so instead of H taking him to school on his mornings, he drops S back off at home, I take him to school every morning. The Saturday night has also evolved to Saturday around 1:00 until Sunday about 3:00. We are pretty flexible with each other too. Oh and dog goes with S. It is a comfort for him so why not.
S best friend does 1 full week rotation with each parent. For me and S, we would not ever like or want that. Honestly I think it would be too much for H. I know, his problem, but it would effect my S. S explains it as, he can deal with staying at daddy's for a night knowing he will be back home the next night.
My opinion, talk to the boys. They are old enough to have an opinion. See their reaction to the full week schedule or mixed days schedule. I know it sounds like a lot of back and forth, but it really isn't a big deal for us. It has become a routine we are used to, we both make an effort to have S spend time with friends, and S is still a straight A student so no effect on school or school work.
I see this to be the hardest part of this mess. I hate that our babies have to deal with this. I have no real words of comfort, it really stinks, but I have grown to enjoy most of my free time. Do what works for you and the boys HW.
M
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-