In my very small experience I think whatever they are saying they need in those raw moments is what they will eventually seek. For my h, it was always his apartment and the lifestyle that came with that. He was constantly pining for an apartment. He is now thrilled and giddy that he now has his own shag pad at long last.
If she is saying she needs passion and excitement, then she will chase that until she figures out that can't last forever.
Just my own personal observation from what I read here and what my own h claims illudes him.
And yes, I agree she is just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
