Gordie #16: walking away from from MLC W

[Sotto]

I agree, it doesn't really sound like that much has changed to me. What rings my alarm bells is she totally blames you for the breakdown of the marriage. From all that you have posted, her behaviour has been pretty challenging. I think it is imperative that she accepts her own part - not because you tell her she should - but because she truly comes to realise that herself. My take is she was losing control and she wants to get it back. She also doesn't want the current situation, which suited her in some ways, to destabilise.

If you agree to work on things, I suspect she would soon revert to previous behaviour, having reeled you back in and restored stability. Truly, I would stick with your current plans, and if you choose to leave the door open a crack after you have moved out, that's up to you. However, I think you may need a little distance from her for a while because you have had a pretty full on time.

I'm reminded of Cali's situation and the 'awakening' his XW had - which seemed to come from a much more heartfelt place than what you describe from your W. In that situation, OM remained somewhere in the background and she fell back into contact with him.

Sorry to be a bit of a Debbie downer, but that's what I think Gordie :-)