When you have to face that your spouse really wants to D, the feelings can be overwhelming. Before it happens, it's easier to DB and have hope. Afterwards, the absolute reality of it all hits you hard. Don't be too hard on yourself for feeling this way.
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18