Detachment isn't flipping a switch or something that happens overnight or a week or so. Detachment is a process and it will take time. All you have to do is commit to a process to get towards detachment. If you keep focusing on the outcome - detachment - and not on the process, you're significantly increasing your detachment timeline.
I am six-seven months past BD and still on my detachment path. So, don't sweat it. Just trust in the process. And the process that I like is this.
1. GAL - what are things that you like to do? Do them! What are some things that you wanted to try or just interest you generally? Go try them!
2. Keep the focus only on YOU and your goals. What are you personal, professional, health, etc goals? Write them out and develop a plan. Prioritize and tackle them one by one. Don't overwhelm yourself with trying to do everything at once - you will not be able to do it and you're just sabotaging yourself. Take it slow and have patience.
3. Don't beat yourself up if thoughts about W come up. Just take an observer approach. See what the thoughts are and sit with it and then let it pass. Don't push it under the rug or sweep it away. Allow yourself to feel the discomfort and sit with it - this will build your resilience and the thoughts will no longer have power over you.
I can't emphasize this more - but trust the PROCESS over the OUTCOME. Enjoy the process. Invite it as you are improving yourself and committed to personal growth.
Detachment will follow. Exercise self-compassion and don't beat yourself up.
