I hear ya about the scars of your first marriage being an issue with any subsequent serious relationships. I know that no marriage is ever perfect and that relationships are often not easy, but those scars add an extra degree of difficulty don't they?
About your XH not even admitting to, let alone apologising for, his terrible behaviour during the supposed reconciliation work. Were I the OW, listening to your XH rabbiting on about how *everything* was your fault, I'd be seeing big red flags. No wonder she didn't want to ditch her H for him. He simply wasn't worth it.
After my XH left me, I had a male friend indicate he wanted a serious relationship with me. He's been separated from his W for around 10 years now, and he still maintains she's a crazy demon who couldn't get anything in their M right. I asked him how he could truly believe everything was all her fault and he stoutly maintained "because it was" - which made me question why he was even my friend. That kind of talk is really, really disturbing.
Anyway, I'm delighted to hear that you found yourself something much, much better than you lost. Good on you both!
