Adjusting to being a LBS #2

[Subitai]

I don't think she's a wayward, either. She is very caring for the kids, the pets, and she even cares about me. If she thinks I'm upset, she asks about it. We went into details and she said one of the drivers of the D is how mad SHE is, and her feelings about the actions that SHE took. She doesn't want to be the person she was towards me, it's not just the person I was towards her.

I may not be able to salvage this marriage, but I think I can salvage a very workable co-parenting and respectful relationship at the very least. Who knows where things will lead.

Thank goodness I got into IC to deal with the trauma, anger, and high-conflict childhood I had. They don't excuse my actions, but they are the genesis of the feelings I reacted to so poorly. And it was god awful hard to do that.

Anyway, I still need to detach and give space, and be as friendly as I can, and work on being the person I should (and could) have been this whole time.

V, I always appreciate your optimism and your advice. The apology letter was super helpful to me. Fastcars, you are an inspiration to stand strong and long, even in the face of major setback. Joeseph9, I am glad to hear your advice from further in the process, letting me know it gets easier. AnotherStander, I always appreciate you helping me see the ground I need to plant my feet on. Clyde, you give me hope and caution all at once. I'm rooting for you! Nicole and Sandi bring a great perspective and insight into what my W may be thinking. Thank you guys for that. Petri, dude, I'm following your story so closely. I feel a kind of kinship with you and your progress.

Building a better tomorrow, one painful step at a time, and each step is a little less painful.