There are several defensive techniques you can adopt.
Let's talk medium chill which is a soft skill used to disengage from another person's drama when NC isn't possible.
Medium Chill is neutral affect and giving neutral responses. The focus is on you, your feelings and needs, not the other person or their feelings and needs. You have to enter into each exchange knowing what you require from it and an exit with peace of mind.
In exchanges be assured without being confrontational. At all times appear relaxed and be still. Calm your mind and breathe steadily. Take breaks if you need, excuse yourself go to the loo, make a coffee...... compose yourself.
Never say anything about yourself. Who you are, where you are going, what you are doing, who you know, nor your feelings etc.
Normalise with the weather, the price of milk, dull, dull, dull Don't engage unless you have to do so. Be prepared with scripts and those scripts are light as air. Everything in your world is OK, fine, ordinary.
Decisions are facts, no explanations, discussions. Just pure flat, flat, flat news. No adjectives or adverbs, present tense. Dull dull dull
No drama, her drama is her drama. Her feelings are her feelings. This is a place of no validation, empathy or involvement. No invalidation, discussion or even listening. You may be present in body but your mind is elsewhere. You have somewhere to go.
The other is affecting your behaviour or emotions to jerk your chain, whether it's being nice or angry or nasty. To manipulate you into being pleasant, angry or retort. Just leave it out. Yawn.
I call it the bored listening strategy. As if listening to an elderly relative with painful bunions.
Medium Chill is also using fogging effectively. The masterful art of saying nothing but not quite invalidating. As in there may be something in what you say. Really that's an interesting point of view. There might be something in what you say. Possibly that's true. I might think about it. If you say so. I could check into it.
Just let the other be angry. Ignore it as if it's not happening. Say no without saying no. No, with a big helying of no on the side.
That's medium chill.
Well my version of it.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
