I like that, my non-D. I think what alarms me about it is that he has been with OW2 for at least 10 months now. At what point is that "safe" enough for him to move forward. Instead I just see the destruction of it coming and another turn on the wheel.
I saw the first signs 5 years before the BD (weight loss, working out, fear of death talk, hair loss prevention products, pulling away from me and kids), but I got the ILB speech about 3 years before BD (when the hidden affair with OW1 began). I assumed it was depression and midlife transition and he would work through it. I tolerated numerous job changes, house changes, and hobby changes to appease him.
You are a classy guy, but I think keeping quiet is essential, mostly for personal integrity. I have done NOTHING to out him in any way to anyone except for the people who absolutely knew he was gone.
Moving out will hurt like a mother at first, but quickly you will feel much better. Just have things planned for the times you don't have the kids. I've never had that part of it, but in the few times they've both been gone it is a little hard.
