Thanks a lot guys, this really kinda lifts my spirits a little...
Meanwhile, we have talked about the situation a bit in a somewhat calm manner and when she hugged me again today, she even noticed that i felt somewhat uncomfortable so she said "i know you don't really want this but tough luck, i am violating your boundaries" and she said it kinda jokingly, in a "i will hug you even if you don't want it" kinda way but then i just gave her a stern look and said "Exactly, you're not respecting my boundaries, and if this is to work we need to both learn how to respect each other". She turned away and got kind of sad/reflective so i can tell this got through to her at least partly.
I think she got that it's not about the hugging, i can deal with that, i just want it crystal clear that there CANNOT be more between us at this point in time, we are both not ready for it and yet we both don't seem to want to end it, so here we are!
