Thanks for your input and you knew I would respond...
I understand that what happened wasn’t good DR’ing and again was totally surprised by the attitude. To counter.
“The problem when it does wear off and the relationship starts to fade there are no guarantees she comes back to you” < Aware of this of course BUT do you have any thoughts on the WW getting to a position when being faced with good DR’ing she might feel a certain sense of pride that she can’t go back or be unsure as to the route back to the MR is gone? Good being the lighthouse but not if the bulbs gone…
“That if you just stand for your marriage and show her how much you love her she will run back into your arms.” < Again too long in the tooth to expect this to happen. Please re-read I stressed to her that I wouldn’t stand in the way of any D proceedings.
“When in reality she's thinking after all the horrible things I have done to this guy, he still wants me back. What is wrong with this guy? Does he not love and value himself enough?” < Totally agree with this statement BUT I am human and was caught out with her change in stance! I do feel I’ve set myself back BUT isolation from the MR plays into the hands of the AP/LO, I’m not in their face or doing any of the pursuing! I have not gone back to the first few days after BD and doing all the wrong things it’s just that her demeanor was a step change difference!
“I hate to say it because I really like you but her and AP/LO are going to get a good laugh about it.” < Maybe IF she mentions it but now the AP/LO knows I’m here and not going anywhere any time soon. I’m his biggest threat and now I’ve told him I fight and will continue to, they can choose to stagnate or progress D but I’m like the dripping tap in the background with history and family and the knowledge that with each day their R is getting more and more “normal” and susceptible to the same riggers of a “normal” MR. Have I just added pressure on his desire to be with my WW?
“I will never file for D" definitely shouldn't have been said. Yes, it does start the clock all over again.” < I feel you’ve missed the point here the statement I said about “never file for D” is about her having accountability for her actions, within the same sentence I stated to her that she can progress a D herself and I’m not interested either way! No it does not restart the clock, he hasn’t all of a sudden got more attractive me less maybe but I also demonstrate loyalty, commitment to our family a trust that can’t be compared. Eventually these qualities will be realized.
This episode was just a blip, a backslide I continue on my journey nothing else has changed I continue to DR.
Mark.
DR'ing started March 2017
Don't blow the last bridge up from fantasy island, act "as if".
