No.5 – WW started talking about D and how “she couldn’t get a D” I responded with “I will never file and that she shoulders the responsibility for destroying the family” I also mentioned that ANYBODY can file for D and I couldn’t or wouldn’t stop her.
No 11 – WW asked “why wouldn’t you want to file for D?” I responded “because I L my family, I love my MR and I L my W” < I’m conflicted here as it’s been at least 10-months since something like this has happened and instinct kicked in with me “feeling” it a good time to reiterate my stance for standing for my MR.
No 34 – Not really broken in the true sense of the word but. WW mentioned how she felt about the lack of affection between us aiding in her decision to have an A to which I countered with “since this all began and until now I have looked at where I failed and know going forward these failing won’t happen again, I will always hold 50% responsibility for our problems in the MR”
I also said to her that a MR is a “work in progress” which needed to be nurtured and monitored throughout, I also said “you took the easy option and found a solution in another man’s arms and bed” I need to say here for the newcomers that I was TOTALLY blindsided by her change in attitude towards me and fell for it hook line and sinker… It made me feel as though she was open to this conversation, she soon changed…
Towards the end of the conversation she said to me “I hope I haven’t got your hopes up?” at this point I laughed has as the conversation went on I knew I had placed myself in a weak position and this comment summed up the temperature check in all its glory and my complete failure to better DR the situation!
I know I failed all of you here and can only apologies BUT I try to find some positive from all the negative…
1. She now knows I remain committed to the MR but I feel she always did know. 2. She also knows I will not be punished by her driving towards a D as I see this as 1 of 2 next logical steps, I reiterated that she can indeed file for D and that I will manage that situation when it happens. She understands that I don’t see a D as a threat.
She left making a b-line to say goodbye to me especially, a massive difference to the norm lots of eye contact and smiles but there would be she knows I’m still hooked! < Advice to the newcomer.
The above raises questions for me who as everybody knows on this forum is out rightly standing for his marriage. 1. My post is about limerence and basically time, does the above incident reset the clock..? 2. I feel a natural consequence of time will erode their A relationship, was her “new” attitude a baby step in this erosion? 3. How will the AP/LO react after hearing about this conversation..?
It’ll be interesting whether WW will pursue D but in all honesty I really don’t waste any time on this, can’t control it why bother!
The whole conversation started due to me mentioning I needed to change the amount of financial support I give to her due to me planning on visiting most of Europe for my 50th. Affecting the parenting plan for a whole month it had to be raised, unfortunately her attitude completely took me by surprise and need to remember the key statement when this crops up again –
“We have nothing to say to each other until you agree to work on the MR and re-commit to me.” Now say after me…
Mark.
DR'ing started March 2017
Don't blow the last bridge up from fantasy island, act "as if".
