WAW? Would Love Opinions. Part 11

[Natural]

J9,

I'm relatively new to this board and I've been following your posts during the last week. It's given me hope to see how calm and rational you are.

As bhappy said, its not over. In the last month I've read that 10% of couples who divorce remarry. Based on what bahappy said, some people find that ~20% of women reconsider and choose not to D before final papers are signed.

This is all the more reason to stay to the course with confident detachment, as there is no telling when the tide might turn. Even if you talk big round finance numbers on Saturday, I would think you could still do that at Chilis. Public place = more reason to remain calm.

I understand mediation increases the chance of resolution and keeping the M intact, but I also understand that mediation and attorneys are not mutually exclusive. Seems like the older you are, the more assets at stake, the more important legal advice will be, even if things aren't adversarial.

I think mediators serve to help you find common agreement and attorneys serve to help you understand the legal system and prevent regrettable agreements.

So far, it looks like the route for my W and I will be: (1) consult attorneys and tabulate assets, (2) discuss/outline split, (3) meet with mediator to (hopefully) agree on items where agreement has been lacking, (4) have attorneys draw up agreement.

I want to keep the attorney role small, but there are certain things, like pre-marital assets, where I want a legal opinion.
However, I do not want the attorneys there when we meet with the mediator, as they might take over the conversation.