Quote: For my part, I need to get back to being that thinner girl he fell in love with. I have tried diet after diet, and I can't seem to stick with it. Which is odd because I have always been in shape until recently, when I gained HUGE amounts of weight. I want him to look at me again with tears in his eyes and see the beautiful girl he used to tell me he saw.
If you were always slim until recently, and the weight gain was large, consider having a doctor check you out for a few things. 1) have him check your thyroid - ask him to check not just your thyroid hormone levels, but also check for thyroid antibodies. 2) Have him check you for Cushing's syndrome - this is rare, and making the diagnosis can be difficult, but it is due to excess cortisol and can cause rapid weight gain,"moon" face, stretch marks, fatigue, depression. 3) Have him check you for polycystic ovary syndrome - excess androgens cause weight gain, glucose intolerance, infertility, irregular periods, hirsutism - lots of the symptoms will resolve with treatment with a diabetes drug like metformin.
You sound great!! I too am struggling with my weight. I really am addicted to food. Here I am, training for a marathon and still have not lost wt. I know I am not eating like I should and that is the real culpret.
I think the South Beach Diet is awesome if you don't have any medical problems. My problem is sticking with good eating habits.
I should know this, but have you read the 5 love languages book? As well as reading the other book this book would really compliment everything that you are doing.
Ellie, thanks. I was never thin, but rather very muscular. Kind of like the fitness girls.
I know why I gained. I stopped exercising, while I used to hit the gym 6 days a week, and I began eating out because H loves restaurants. Not just eating out - but appetizers, beer and dessert. YUCK!
I have been eating well and lost 20 lbs, but have plateaued. Which is normal. Except that it has been going on 6 months of plateau. I've tried shaking up my routine, eating more, eating less, whatever, my body just wants to stay here - which is about 50 lbs too much.
Sigh.
I'll get there. I'm hiring a personal trainer and going to a nutritionist... Maybe they can help.
Hey Deb, The Truth About Love is by Pat Love - I highly recommend it as a great supplement to DR/DB.
Nikatnight- I feel your pain.
I ride 14 miles a day on my mountain bike (on the road) along with weight training and still no loss. I actually gained weight over the weekend - and H and I went away to go mountain biking. I'm not talking muscle weight, either, because my pants are tighter. Probably water, but still discouraging.
Yes, I like the South Beach diet very much from a nutritional standpoint. I use the Zone diet, which is fabulous. However, now I am getting back into serious bodybuilding to try to blast my fat. So, I'm upping the protein I'm eating and lowering the fat while still sticking to other principles of the Zone/South Beach (which means I will eat mostly low glycemic index carbs -except around workout time.)
What this means is that I will eat no more than 20% (good) fat, about 35% protein, and 45% carbs. No whites (white bread, white rice, white potato, white sugar, white flour, etc...)
I'm renewing my efforts today. I'll let you all know if it works.
Yes, I have read 5LL. After MB tape and Truth About Love, I'm thinking of asking H to read 5LL. I think it may help us.
OK, this post is long enough, I'll post my weekend separately...
This is too funny. Cainercast for today is amazingly right on given the whole weight issue...
Monday, 17th May 2004 Manufacturers invariably spend a great deal of money on packaging and advertising their goods. They know that no matter how intrinsically valuable a product, an item or a service is, it must be made to look attractive if anyone is to want it. Somewhere in your world now, there's a desirable item or a worthwhile idea. It is though, lacking a glossy facade. Indeed, it looks rather dull and unappealing; almost off-putting. It deserves to be cleaned up and represented as the valuable, even precious, possibility that it actually is.
Hi Rottz - Not sure if this will help with the training, but I cut down on carbs for the diabetes, and lost weight easy - down to 110lbs (I'm 5ft 6 ins) - not been this weight since I was 18
OK, again, being lazy. Still haven't bought a new journal. Can't believe I filled one up already.
The weekend was filled with several good things and some bad things that I wished I hadn't done and just couldn't stop myself.
More bad than I'd like to admit, but I'm human.
I have to work on being more kind, loving, patient, and understanding, and less bitchy.
Friday I had an issue with the local (well known department store and tire center) who was trying to rip me off for a flat tire. They tried telling me that I needed a whole new tire and when I said I had road hazard - kept my tire and wouldn't return it. UGH! So, I went to another store where they promptly apologized and gave me a new tire. But, it started my day off wrong and I was cranky. H got cranky also - our moods echo each other's so often.
Great, H and I moved his fish from our indoor pond to the outdoor pond for the summer season. Brought the dogs to the kennel, where they promptly forgot all about us as they romp-us'd (my word) around the kennel area chasing chickens.
We drove to NH where H spent an hour crying at a Harley store. Made him happy to look, but also sad as we can't afford it this year. I don't know why he keeps torturing himself. It breaks my heart that I can't buy it for him. But I have to sell my Dodge before he gets a bike. We have three car payments right now and it's killing us. The money issues aren't doing any good for our marriage. Anyone want a great 98 Dodge Intrepid ES?
Anyway, we went on to Vermont for our weekend. Hit the local pub and restaurant for a great dinner and checked out our campsite. The lean to was very cozy and cute. Had a nice fire that night and went to sleep.
All in all, our moods improved and we had a good time together. Saturday a.m. we got up early and headed out to bike ride. Tried the trails and they were AWESOME! I never knew how much I loved mountain biking before. I liked it, but had never been on true bike trails like this. It was great, and H was just as happy. Said he was proud of me for keeping up. We had so much fun, I want to do it again. However, I did get low on blood sugar and got a bit bitchy, but I think H understood and we got through it. I just wish I hadn't forgotten to bring food so it hadn't happened.
The afternoon started raining, we drove to the top of the ski mountain to look at the town and wound up coming down early. Lightning struck the next camp site over, and we were really freaked out for a bit.
We went out to a movie and got back in time to sleep by 10. It was still raining and looking like our biking was out for Sunday. Saturday was awesome all in all. We bonded quite a bit. However, I know where it all started going wrong.
It was Saturday night when H did not hold me and I got cranky. Began feeling neglected and impatient. I wanted him to hold my hand and kiss me and get over all this crap once and for all. For goodness sakes, I couldn't control myself. Just wanted my old, romantic, loving, cuddly H back. I was getting so fed up with being his friend and not the woman he loves anymore. Or rather, is "in love with" anymore.
I wanted him to read that book NOW and watch the MB tapes NOW and it was getting to me. Very bad DBing, and setting the stage for some backsliding.
So, Sunday we drove to NH again, as it was still rainy in VT. I talked H into teaching me to gold pan, and we went to a river he used to pan in. It was great, but I yelled at him once (still feeling neglected) for not being a copilot and telling me where to turn. I felt bad, and apologized. H felt bad also. I just got so aggravated because I was driving down the road - in H's old haunt - where he KNEW where he was going, and he let me miss the turn and never said anything. I got about 1 mile down the road and asked if I was supposed to have turned, and he just said he thought I knew what I was doing. I was furious, and I don't know why. I had never been there before, it was a back woods town with one gas station, and here I was lost because H thought I "knew" where I was going and decided not to speak up. Well, I yelled, I felt so badly, and H made the effort to make it up. He got me back to town, but not before I said some nasty stuff. I told him that he never helps me out when I am driving with the directions. He is a lousy copilot and I don't know why I keep trying to depend on him to get us where we are supposed to go.
Then, I calmed down. H said that he was sorry, and tried to make me laugh a bit. I did, and then told him that it was my fault. That I assume he will direct me, rather than asking him to do so. So, I think that went well.
Then, in the river gold panning, I got cranky again. H didn't help me over the slippery rocks like he used to. I said something and he said that he thought I was the "can do anything girl." Well, I again felt neglected and left out of his love. I sat there and waited for him to teach me. He just said a few words about how to do it, and I couldn't get the hang of it. In the old days, when H "loved" me, he would have sat with me and showed me until I got it. Having patience with me. Maybe it was unfair, but I sat there stewing until I again got angry. Well, we finally wrapped up and I blamed it on my blood sugar.
H found a cute restaurant where they had a brunch buffet. I thought the weekend had been ruined, but in true fashion, H showed his class by saying how perfect the weekend had been and how happy he was.
And in true petty, immature fashion, I smiled but later felt like it hadn't been perfect, because H still withholds his love from me. I feel petulant like a child that is told they can't have the ice cream they want.
What's wrong with me?
So, today I renew my vows YET AGAIN to DBing. I will be understanding and patient and loving and kind and gentle. I will keep my tone of voice under control and not nag or bitch. I'll work on making myself happy and let H see me being happy. H will be drawn to me like a moth to a flame - I will be irresistible.
I am re-reading my journal to find what worked before and reinstitute it.
From my Cainer cast for the week... They say you should never go back. They say the past is a place to remember, but not to return to. They, though, say a lot of things and not all of these are worth listening to. Sometimes, it can be highly appropriate to retrace your steps. Or to repeat a formula that has proven profitable in times gone by. As Neptune now changes direction in the sky, you are now starting to see your own recent history in a different light. How wonderful that you are about to be granted an opportunity to achieve a different outcome in a key area of struggle.
That says it all, doesn't it? Time to go back, revisit history, see what worked and do it. Why have I gotten off of the DB wagon? I feel as if it has become comfortable to be where I am and I have stopped putting in the effort I had been putting forth. Today, I begin again. Reborn.
My PMA will rise to previously unknown levels, I will lose weight, H will love me again with his previous passion - even MORE PASSION THAN BEFORE!!! .
These things are true, it's just up to me to make it happen now rather than later.
