Also, at DC I got the equivalent of IDLY. She said what was the other option to divorce? Stay married when she doesn't have those feelings for me anymore? She didn't say IDLY, but the effect was the same. A gut punch for sure. I had, in my head, been believing she still loved me, but just didn't think I could change, and all my 180s would save the day. Those feelings are completely gone, though.
^^^This is all script. It is totally normal. The only difference is your perception. You're still clinging to the hope that this is all temporary and if you just say or do the right thing then all will go right back to normal. But that is not how this works. She is DONE, make no mistake about it. You have got to leave her alone and work on YOU. You've got to give her LOTS of time and space to sort things out on her own. When she does she may very well change her mind about the M, but that is months down the road, maybe even a year or more. You are still doing things to try and save the M instead of saving yourself. Work on you first, then maybe the M will follow.
You mentioned earlier that a 180 is sharing your feelings with her. SHE DOESN'T CARE about your feelings right now. That is not a 180 she wants. If SHE shares feelings with you, that's great, you listen and validate. THAT would be a good 180. But don't share your feelings with her, she's likely to think "here he goes, he just thinks everything is all about him."
