Suffice it to say, I think we need to be aware that our spouses can read our posts. There are things I've held back on because I didn't want my WX to know. I'd imagine others here have done the same. Be careful, folks.
Yeah it's a good idea to take precautions. The only posting and reading I did from home was on my phone. I password-protected my phone so W couldn't snoop. But I mainly read and posted from work. I kept my discussions specific to my sitch but never used names or mentioned locations so that even if W were to find these forums she wouldn't know 100% it was me posting.
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Getting ready for the kid exchange was rough. S15 took care of his own stuff, but S10 had his things scattered all over the place. I hear this gets easier with time, but d@mn if this didn't svck.
It is very difficult starting out, but yes it does become routine. I remember my IC talking about establishing a "new normal" and thinking "how the hell can this EVER be normal???" But she was right, I did eventually settle into a new normal. The two girls have since grown and moved out, but S is still going back and forth and it's just purely routine at this point, no negative feelings attached to it.
Originally Posted By: EastTN
My D only takes a couple of things to/from (school bag, and typically either a specific toy she wants to take, or her tablet, or bows, etc, and I expect the things she takes to come back) you may want to look into whether you can do the same. Having "stuff at mommy's" and "stuff at daddy's" makes it easier.
Great point, we did the same. S has school clothes and casual clothes at both places and of course has separate video game consoles and such. He just has to take his school backpack, swim bag and laptop back and forth. Other than the laptop it's the same stuff he carries to school and back every day.
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I still feel like I let her down, sometimes. Like I should have done better. Like I failed her by having her life turn into this. I always wanted to give my daughter something I never had: an intact family, and I couldn't.
Yeah I felt like that too. Then a couple of years ago I was hiking with my younger D (19 at the time) and she told me how proud she was of how I handled everything, and how much love she felt and how much she respected me. She said 20 years was a pretty impressive run for a M and sometimes people just change and it's time to move on. I was so impressed with the maturity of that statement, and frankly surprised she had such admiration for me when I felt like I had let the kids down! The old timers here are always saying to conduct yourself with honor even when your spouse is acting the fool. I'm here to say that if you do that then in the end you and your kids win no matter what happens.
