Sounds like you have a lot of communication with your W and maybe she is having second thoughts. I would keep the communication minimal and keep your side of it short and/or curt text messages.
I agree with your approach about being civil and doing things such as going to Son's play and even offering her the room when her heating stopped. In those situations I ask myself whether I would be doing this for an acquaintance, and if yes, then I'll do it for W.
Having refinanced the house, it sounds like you are very close to finalizing the D?
