Hit the gym this morning, had an awesome work out. My youngest had basketball practice last night so I got to see my girls for a bit. I volunteered to help coach the team so it has been fun being on the court teaching the kids. The W was also there but since I was on the court practicing the time with her was very limited.
She did send me a couple emails yesterday about summer camp activities for the girls (funny how that is on her mind already). Every year since the kids have been born she has spent the summers with them so we did not have to pay for child care expenses. The information she sent me yesterday was essentially her proposal for the summer which basically indicated she does not want to watch them full time and wants to have every other week off with the kids attending camp on the weeks they will be with me.
When she first sent it I got pissed, I started thinking about her being selfish. Then as I started to think more about it I realized that even though I might not agree with her motives it would be a good thing for everyone involved. My W also made it very clear that she would financially contribute to them going to the camps as well.
The arrangement we had last summer was that she would watch them all day long, during the week and I would take them on Wednesday nights and every weekend. At the time I agreed to do this because I knew she needed a break and it would be the only time I would get to spend any time with the kids. In reality it stunk because every weekend I had them. I know she got wore out as well being with those girls all day in a 1000 sq ft apartment and a couple of days when I showed up she was in tears. I know she tried to have activities planned for them but there is only so much you can do.
With that said, most importantly, I know my girls would love to attend some summer camps, be with their friends, take some field trips, etc. as I know without planned activities they would get bored. They are at the age now where they want the interaction with other kids.
I guess sometimes I find it hard to have her suffer the consequences of her choices vs not making it seem like I am trying to punish her. I could have said "no", I am not paying for it and she could have said well I am not watching them so you need to figure something out on your weeks. I guess without some formal separation agreement in place I felt in a no win situation and if she was willing to help pay it definitely beats the alternative of her saying I am not watching them and I am not going to pay for it either.
I guess in the end it is a win/win for everyone. She gets every other week off, I don't have them every weekend and they get to do some fun stuff this summer with their friends and not hang around their mom all day in the apartment.
It also was a little depressing because it just further cemented in my mind that she is still full steam ahead on continuing down this path.
