Wife wont admit to affair, its driving me nuts! 2

[Morbo]

Surfer said

Did the same. Stalked (not sure I like the phrase - but I will use it) on Tinder and plenty of fish.

Reality is I never followed up

Yep, I still look at it occasionally just to see whats out there.
I do nothing about it, although I did message a couple girls a few weeks back. I couldnt seem to find the energy to reply and get something started and get the ball rolling. Its really unfair to them as Vanilla said, I'm definitely just confused and going to break some hearts lol

So where did you get to on the night our/dinner etc thing?

So, W came over to house after work and met my parents which was actually pretty awkward. My dad does not like her at all. Even without the revelations about her affair he was just not eager to see her at all. It was weird..anyway

We went out for food. Not a great atmosphere and strained between us.
She just talked about her job and how much money she will be making and her new business trips away. I'm still a kids music teacher/musician which I have always loved but all the money/corporate bs talk just leaves me cold and makes me feel inadequate.
Also was talking about her male friend boss , probable OM although
she admits nothing, lol. She says that they hang out at his place, light a fire sometimes and they just talk and she obvs goes home alone, LMFAO

Anyway, I wasnt drinking, she had a wine, we finished and then went to a bar. I think I got an eye roll from her when I suggested that but not sure. The bar was better, I took it easy , I sipped a beer.
Convo was ok for a while. Then she had a 3rd whiskey and she started nagging.
She talked about all the bad things I'd done in the past, the present and then started nagging me about who I was going to date in the future. FFS, I cant win!! She's just so jealous about who I might possibly date, its consuming her. She just would not let it go, it was exhausting.

I kinda was done at that stage and wanted to leave plus she was starting to cry and get really emotional at the bar and I was getting LOTS of dirty looks. THIS is a reason I didnt want to go out with her the last year or so because this is what ALWAYS happened. So we fought all the way back in the car and sat in a car park where it just went on and on in circles of bulls**t.

I'm just done with it tbh.
I'm never going to go out with her and at least try unless she..

1 Stops drinking and realizes she has a problem.
2 Stops bringing up the past and she just melts my brain.. lol
3 Starts seeing a doctor and gets meds(or whatever).
4 Stops seeing OM or whatever she's doing.
5 Actually genuinely wants to give things a go.

I'm done really and want to just tell her its OVER.
She wont do it, not sure if she can let me go.
She's confused, hasnt mentioned D at all and I just dont know what the hell this is..I know if I didnt have kids with her, 12 years and some genuinely amazing times together I'd be definitely gone.
Ugggh