Former WH, now LBS Please Help, close to Give Up

[sandi2]

Off course i want to go back to my comfort zone : aka be polite to each other, she hide when contact OM2 (aka not show obvious disrespect, give to me some grumps of affection and attention to me, and allow me to do for

I doubt you will be able to go back to your comfort zone for a long time. The condition of your MR did not happen over night, and it won't be fixed over night. Instead of you needing to know what to do and say every evening before going home, you have to begin thinking like the man you read about on the red pill.

I want you to understand clearly that as long as she is making fun of you on FB or to others........or showing you disrespect in any form, there will be no more playing nice and licking up table crumbs from her affection. Do you get why? Alpha men don't play that game. They don't beg for crumbs.

Stop sending her messages on FB. Don't text her throughout the day. She is completely addicted to her phone, and you do not need to act as if you don't know of any other way to communicate. When you have something to discuss, tell her to her face. Don't hide behind a text, if you have something important to say to her.

You should have personal boundaries set in place, and if she dishonors those boundaries, then you should be prepared to enforce it by leaving her with the consequences. If she disrespects you, she should have consequences. If you don't know what to do about it........then you are already sunk before you start. Begin by having the right attitude. Reading on line about how the Alpha H deals with a disrespectful W, will help to mentally prepare you with the attitude of strength and male dominance.

I understand financial stress, but if you are going to have an effective plan of action to live with her under the same roof.........you first must lose your fear of losing her. And, if anyone leaves, it should be the cheater. However, some WW's are so bad and so stubborn, they won't leave. They prefer to put the family through hell, rather than being respectful.

She is texting OM in front of you? What do you think a dominant male would do? How would he get the message to her that she will not disrespect him by texting OM? Let me give you a hint about what you don't do. You don't say things like, "Please don't contact OM in front of me, b/c it really offends me". Heck no! That is something a woman says.......but not a Alpha man.

She can have a friendship with OM, or a M with you, but she cannot have both. Anytime a woman chooses a friendship over her own H.......I promise you it is an affair of some type. What woman in her right mind would choose just a casual friend over keeping her H? It is absurd. However, she may have to be convinced she is really losing her H, and everything she benefits from the MR..........before she comes to her right senses about OM. Are you prepared to go the distance?

1. Should I do sport with her and the kids or do it alone

I was confused about the whole sport's thing. Is your son playing in this sport, or are you and W and son going to watch someone else play a sport? Is the OM your son's coach?

2. Should i go hole late...

Late from what? Work? GAL? I don't understand what you mean.

3. What to do if she ask if i will leave the house/when and/or what i think to do from now on

Are you referring to you going out to Get a Life? If so, you give vague answers without giving her details.

4. What to do if she FB OM2 in front of me

Tell her one time that you will not live in an open M. Tell her one time she is being disrespectful to you and the M when she has private friendships with other men. It is not appropriate. You will not be disrespected by her texting/reading messaging and giving any type of attention to OM.

Then, the very next time she ignores you and texts or reads his messages........you will need to do some type of action that shows her (but, with no acts of violence) the consequences for disrespecting you. Can you do that? If not, then there is no reason to ever open your mouth, b/c she already has you whipped like a dog.

Am I saying you need to be ready to physically separate? Yes, I am. Otherwise, you will live in an open M and be disrespected. It's your decision. Sure, you can try smashing her phone, and things of that nature.......but I doubt it will have much affect on her behavior. Telling her to get her things and find some other place to stay......may be more effective. You won't financially support her, either. If she doesn't want to act like a M woman, then she should not benefit from the M. Make sense?

5. What to do if she ask/inform me that she are going to dinner/lunch with OM2

Tell her you don't want the woman she has become, and tell her to get her things and leave.

6. What to do if i know she is going to lunch/dinner

Same thing.

7. What to say if she start talking about future thing events (aka we will together in future)

Say nothing. Believe nothing she says about the future.

8. What if she start talking about how she fills (tired/nervous ans so on ) up to now i try to validate or listen, not going to fix nothing. From the past i know if i ask what i can do for you to be better, her respond was i want peace (aka not bother her about her behavior) she is very glad when she doing this (punch me).

Do you understand those same signs indicate her conniving, lying, and deceitful ways? She says she wants peace, but she really only wants you out of the way. So......don't validate this, or ask her if she wants to talk about it........and for God's sake don't ask what you can do to make her feel better. It is not your job to make a cheater feel better.

What do you mean she is very glad to punch you? Why are you asking so many questions about what to say or how to respond to a woman who enjoys hurting you? This tells me you have been much too weak in showing that you will not allow her to treat you so badly. People will not respect you if you let them bully you. This is especially true in marriage. Start showing her you are a strong man who will no longer put up with her. Once you really decide you have had enough of her disrespectful treatment........you won't have to ask anyone what you should do.

Do you know why you are asking now? You are really wanting someone to tell you how you can remain a Beta male, keep your nice guy syndrome.......and still get your WW to love and respect you.