Former WH, now LBS Please Help, close to Give Up

[betheoa]

So Sandy, i will continuous and add more:

Using FB to attack you is wrong.

It was privet messages. in the past last 2 years, from time to time, she make fun of me in FB (she asks before wrote it- if i am OK)- and i say OK - at this time i did not see any wrong, i can handle it, now i know this is sort of disrespect, so i cut of at the beginning of the year ago - when i add something on my FB wall, and she red it, and said she want to write (something like - easy easy) - so i respond to her "better not to do - in firm way"

Making remarks about you to colleagues is inappropriate.

Off course it is not write - i am not suppose to know about that. She is often lie (or twist the truth) to bring her in light of confident woman, wise and independent. How i can not accept this behavior if i am not suppose to know?

I don't know if you have read about the nice guy syndrome. I hope you will look on line at the free information given.

. if you think that i am nice gut now, i could not imagine what you will say, about me in the past

If you cannot physically separate from your W, then we can design a plan of action to use while staying in the home. Is that what you would like to do? It will require a lot of changed behavior from you, and probably not the behavior you had in mind.

I will be happy, if some one support me, to be honest i am scared, but what i can do more by my self.....

You said you had read some of my posts. I don't know if you have read my threads that explain WW's. I have several and I will give you the links.

I am reading now

So about yesterday...my wife went to sport with the kids. I went to sport an hour later, i sow that they are there (this day is not common to them to do sport. When i go there, i went strait to the change room (did not look around to see where are they. I go home a little later then normal 30 min later (i have read/write to the forum).

When i go home, say just Hi (she respond HI), then start to do something to eat. W went to bed. hour later i went to bed too. Did not speak a all.

In the morning today, i make coffee only for me, later she start talk to me about sport related, i respond very short an civil. later i told her about my Grand Father about being in hospital (just to inform her) she look like polite. Later i found out that today OM2 will go to haircut at her. I took this for me. When i leaving, she ask polite to call her about me grant father..said OK.

later she call me, i did not answer, call her 30 min later, she ask what is UP. I said i am dеаling with chaos (she asks what happen), i ask nothing (she asks you don want to tell me ?) i said everything is under control, just a lot of tasks to do *she said you will do it) respond off course i will, then i told her about my grand Father what i know (she propose to visit him later) i said will see later. (she ask to call her if here is more information about him) respond OK . Than said buy..

So there is my question:
1. Should I do sport with her and the kids or do it alone
2. Should i go hole late...
3. What to do if she ask if i will leave the house/when and/or what i think to do from now on
4. What to do if she FB OM2 in front of me
5. What to do if she ask/inform me that she are going to dinner/lunch with OM2
6. What to do if i know she is going to lunch/dinner
7. What to say if she start talking about future thing events (aka we will together in future)
8. What if she start talking about how she fills (tired/nervous ans so on ) up to now i try to validate or listen, not going to fix nothing. From the past i know if i ask what i can do for you to be better, her respond was i want peace (aka not bother her about her behavior) she is very glad when she doing this (punch me).

So for today i do not have action plan, but will keep to be civil and calm.
If Sandy respond of my question i will be more prepared for the evening.
What i am sure she start to try temperature check, softened and so on. That is normal when i keep pulled back after tough discussion or/and fight.With the time last 2 years i have become more confident in my wright to ask behavior/ things from her.

Off course i want to go back to my comfort zone : aka be polite to each other, she hide when contact OM2 (aka not show obvious disrespect, give to me some grumps of affection and attention to me, and allow me to do for her many things she need.
i hope to not go there this time. I do not want to be plan B. Now i AM, if OM2 bull back (some how, not FB, or in a mood), she become more open to me, off course depressed but more present (mental), when OM2 is more attend to her she is more happy, but mental not here. WW and OM2 play pursues/distant game, look from outside it is ridiculous. last 2 years when observing my WW and OM1 and OM2 interaction, i have lost a lot of respect to my W, but the love is still there (i am not talking about this what i feel when i am jealous/rejected/needy and so on), no i am talking about this solid feeling to some one, when you wish all best to this person, and forgive what they done write there (not forget but forgive). Yes i am a person like this (is it normal to be like this?) Am i so codependent to her?.

will write at the evening if i need to vent.
Thank you being there, glad to be here.