Do you see how she brings other people into your private business (the marriage problems)? Her GF may have strong influence on your W. Using FB to attack you is wrong. Making remarks about you to colleagues is inappropriate. You do not have to accept her treatment.
I don't know if you have read about the nice guy syndrome. I hope you will look on line at the free information given.
Also, please read about Alpha males and Beta males. I am going to copy and paste a post I wrote to another board member yesterday. I think you have lived in a bad relationship for a long time, and you believe you don't deserve any more than the few crumbs of niceness your W throws at you. She uses the past to keep you in a position of a whipped puppy. It is time for you to stop being the whipped puppy. If she cannot forgive you, then that is her problem. You will no longer be punished. Five years is enough!
If you cannot physically separate from your W, then we can design a plan of action to use while staying in the home. Is that what you would like to do? It will require a lot of changed behavior from you, and probably not the behavior you had in mind.
In my opinion, when the WW has brought another man into the M, the H should not act as if he is waiting for her to make up her mind about the OM. He should not ask his WW about her feelings for himself or OM. Apparently, your W enjoys making you jealous. She texts OM or reads his messages in front of you so she can deliberately make you jealous. It is her way to pay back the jealousy she felt over your A. But it has to stop, and we will talk about what you need to do.
You said you had read some of my posts. I don't know if you have read my threads that explain WW's. I have several and I will give you the links.
