Saying ILY...

[mtb1981]

Well... I talked to W while I was at work today to see what her work schedule was for the week. She asked why, and I told her that we needed to talk about what was going on with the kids and what her timeline on moving out was. My plan was to set some boundaries as mentioned in my previous 2 posts. She kind of got a little pissy when I mentioned it. I told her I had to go and we would discuss it when I got home...

I've been do really well with detaching the past few days, no calls/texts throughout the day, no ily's, no cuddling at night. Just been getting things taken care of around the house and acting "as if". This weekend, I kind of had an awakening and really let go. I finally believed that I don't need her and her poor behavior in my life and maybe it would be best if she did leave. I'm not saying that I've given up, but I realized I'll be fine with or without her. I'm in a better place mentally than I have been in a while and I feel great...

So, tonight when I got home, I put a record on while I was cooking dinner and cleaning the kitchen. Just singing, messing with the kids, and enjoying myself. She kind of ignored me while she was getting ready for work, and I honestly didn't care. I also got a new phone this weekend, and she picked it up and asked what the passcode was with kind of a smirk on her face. I just told her and went about my business. She read through some of my texts, and it didn't bother me one bit bc I have nothing to hide. I think she expected me to tell her to bug off. As she was walking out the door, she asked me what I wanted to talk about. I told her I would talk to her tomorrow because she was leaving for work. She kind of got pissy again, said whatever, and walked out the door. About 5 seconds later she popped back in, and said, "So are you kicking me out of the house?". I said, "No. We'll talk about it tomorrow when you have more time." I got another "whatever" and she left...

Our youngest son was sick today, and he threw up all over me about an hour after she left. I sent her a text to let her know what was going on with him, to which she responded, "poor baby". I didn't reply. An hour later texted "How is our baby doing?" I gave her another update, and she then responded with, "Btw, not being home the past few days has made me realize I don't want this. I want to work on our family" I have not yet responded...

Last night, she had her work Christmas party. She told me she saw our mutual friend there, and he had heard we were splitting up, and she said that we were. He asked if it had anything to do with her new job at the bar, and if it did, she shouldn't leave. She told him it had nothing to do with her new job, and then asked if he and a few of my other friends would still be friends with her. And from what I got, he basically said no, we won't be friends, that she was being selfish and I didn't deserve to be dealing with this. I think that this in conjuction with my general attitude this past weekend and wanting to talk about custody of the kids and when she would be moving out has lifted her fog a bit...

I have no expectations, but I do see this as a positive sign...