New LBS dealing with WW (Part 5)

[Salazar]

Well, several things you're missing. She actually filed 1 week after BD.

I tried to work on an in house S but that went horrible due to her constant gaslighting, abuse, triangulation, and putting our kids in the middle of it all. She would call OM and leave his gifts around the house for me and the kids to see and hear. No respect from her for anyone else, even her own son.

I did a bang up job of boundaries and general DB. GALed like crazy, kept my 180s. Set hard hard boundaries. Did everything I was supposed to do. But once she started to manipulate our kids to get under my skin and gaslight me, I had enough. She crossed the line there so I left.

Am I done? Yeah. There's nothing left for me in my MR. It's over, and my W is not who I married.

Am I over this? No. Would I recon at this point... Maybe if I felt that the WW fog had been lifted.

I had to step away from her. I did it with dignity, poise, honor, and class. I'm not ashamed of this any longer. I had to protect the kids from her abuse.

It was a calculated decision.

Joe,

I think that is a very helpful clarification/distinction. You are done with the M as it currently stands. You have drawn a line in the sand and realized that you are not willing to live with your WW. From what I have read here, a WW will not change overnight or even over the course of a few months, even if you 180 and truly improve. The fact that you may be open to the R, if serious changes are made on her end, tells me that you are on the right track. In some of your early posts, you mention the possibility of a rebound, due to loneliness etc. By no means should you put your life on hold, but I would caution against adding in any new love interests at least for the time being. I know you already know that, but in the grand scheme a few months is nothing in comparison to the years you have been married. Focus on you and your son for now. I'll be watching!