Newbie In Need Of Guidance

[TBSakaJ9]

Yes, we still live in the same house. As I said before, it seems like she is following the 37 rules with me. To the letter. I honestly don't think she notices when I am there.

I am 7 months in and my W has not made 1 comment to me about anything other than my new haircut makes me look younger. That is why they say the changes need to be for you and not your W. You feeling good and confident should not be based on getting validated by your W. It is hard at first but it is the truth. They also notice more than you think, she may not say anything for a while but trust me she is taking notes on you and your behavior.

Every W acts different but for me it is very much like a game of chicken and who is going to flinch first. It will take some time for her to notice your changes and accept them for what they are. If you are consistent with them eventually she will realize you did not do them to win her back.

I consider myself pretty good at Dbing but I still can't control my W so there are no guarantees.

When I am trying to do my own thing and I am in the house, should I be visible to her, or is going in to another room ok? Say I want to read, is going to the bedroom fine or should I sit on the couch so she can see I have other interests? If I'm in another room it seems I would be out of sight/out of mind and possibly being anti social. Does that even matter at this point?

I am not an in-house separation expert but if it was me I would act like the king of my castle ! If I want to read I usually go to a quiet place. If she is on the couch watching TV then go to another room.

At this point it doesn't matter....the more space you can give your W the better without it seeming like you are running scared. It took me a solid 4 months of removing pressure from my W before she dropped her guard.

The quicker you stop all the R talks, being needy, reaching out to her all the time, questioning her the better off you will be. Walk around your house with confidence not arrogance. Also know she wants space so don't try to follow her around the house.

Get some new clothes, new hair cut, cologne, lotions, scrubs, new shoes, loose weight, get jacked, etc. Those things will help with your confidence. I guarantee you if you do all those things, you will feel better about yourself, it will increase your confidence and your W will start to gain respect for you. Your W will not respect you if your don't respect yourself. If you act scared all the time any respect she has for you will continue to diminish.