but there is virtually no interaction between my wife and I since I started trying to follow the program here
You guys still live in the same house correct? If so, there should be plenty of opportunity for your W to notice your changes.
I can tell you from experience if you follow the 37 rules you will get your confidence back and your W's respect will return. Whether it leads to recon or not is a different story (since you can't control your W) but you will feel better about yourself.
My W and I are separated and only see each other maybe 1 hr per week during kid exchange and their activities. In the 1 hr she has plenty of time to observe my demeanor, appearance and confidence levels. I never talk about myself and what I am doing, where I have been, I don't bring us up or ask her any probing questions. The conversation is usually about the kids or very high level stuff about weather, a current event, something like that. IMO stopping the pursuing behavior and putting up with her BS is how you start to get your respect back..
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I'm curious because to me a temp check would mean I have at least gotten her attention a bit, which is at least a start.
Yes, that is accurate so when she does it don't cave in which lets her know you are still available. I will give you an example.
3 months ago my W told me she was ready to move on and file for D. She sent this to me in a text message and I responded to her by saying "just let me know what time is best so we can discuss the details". She never responded to what I sent and we still have not discussed it. IMO that got her attention and I got some respect back. Right after BD my response would have been "You know I don't want this", "I will always love you, I want to work on this" or something like that. I hope you can tell the difference in the confidence levels of the responses. If would have said I don't want this or I love you......she knows she still has me by the b@lls and I would not have gotten any respect.
The best advice I ever got on this board was that the only way to get your spouse to return is if your not afraid to lose them.
