She was a partier, cheated on him, walked all over him, didn't have too many good traits. He thinks she just dated him for his car and because he had money. He says "she was pretty and acted like she liked me."
I asked H if he liked biking with me and he said yes. I asked if it could just as easily be any person, and he said he just enjoys going. I was trying to figure out if he liked MY company, or just HAVING company.
My ex-b went back and was with a previous gf briefly (she was barely a gf the first time, that WAS very brief). Like in the weeks. She treated him like dirt, she treated other guys like dirt, had R's with married men, etc. After we started dating, she sent him pics of herself with captions like "I know you like read hair" and "you are the only guy who's seen me in curlers". (they lived platonically for several months after they split, which pretty much happened from the moment she arrived at his apt. for the summer from overseas).
They remained "friends" - meaning they sometimes went long periods of time without speaking, but had some contact. Then he started getting closer to her around the time of the bomb. I didn't know it, but suspected. I always said she'd try to come back, and he never believed it. Why? Because she plays games and ties guys around her finger.
And when I asked him early last year why he liked her - it was "she's pretty and has a nice personality". First of all, she's not all that. And second, a decent person doesn't come in between as many R's as she has. I think ex-b wanted to prove to himself that someone like that would really like him. Why? I have NO idea.
By the same token, some women will stay with guys who treat them shabbily.
As far as asking your H if he enjoys your company and not just the bike ride - I'd not ask that. It sounds insecure, and you want to at least come across as secure as possible. I will say to my ex-b "I had a good time" and if he says "I'm glad", I sometimes will ask him if he had a good time too. I need to stop, because honestly - I can tell that he has. Even if he says he didn't, I'd know he did.
Good luck with everything. I have lost 50 pounds so far now, still a ways to go (at least 30 more, probably 40-45) and I need to start looking for another job at some point too.
