HW, I have to say, I don't feel like the 4 years were a waste. Maybe they were for H, but for me, It gave me and S time to adjust to living the divorced life. It also gave me the time to get grounded, stronger and more emotionally ready for the next steps. I can look back with no regrets, no what if's. H being stuck was a gift for me, he on the other hand seems a bit off balance by the current changes.
I also don't see the past (nearly) 4 years as a waste, it has given me time to adjust and my new life has now become my normal. We are told that time is our gift and at the time I did not understand that, but now I get it. I have changed for the better, I value myself these days which is something I never did before. I have learnt patience and how not to over react, or even react at all, these new skills and lessons I would not have gained had I not been through this experience.
Only my 2c but I I feel that your h has had this all his way, (whether he acknowledges it or not, as really I don't think he realizes that he is acting entitled) so when you mentioned d, he thought you would just agree to everything that he feels he is entitled to and that nothing would change, everything would stay the same as is it now. But what he didn't factor in is that you have changed, you are not the mleigh that he left, you are so much stronger and are acting from a clear head-space. You my friend are wise to the guilt trips your MLCer will pull on you to get his way, not so gullible these days .....he hasn't realized that .....yet .... I know you will get whats right and owing to you.
I hope your Dr can get to the bottom of your ailments, you are bound to be stressed during this time, hopefully its short lived symptoms and you feel better soon. Look after yourself through this time.
