I have been away for a few days. Things have been relatively good. ML has been getting more intense. I woke up to find H holding my hand several times (not sure who iniatiated, it may have been me.) in our sleep.
A few backslides, but I have been writing H emails detailing what I want from him - and he's been responding!!! He called me yesterday, had blown a responsibility I had given him. (He was supposed to order tix for a comedy show and didn't) He sounded upset, and we wound up hanging up upset. He thought I would be angry before hand and called ready for a fight. I emailed him a description of the "as if" attitude and explained how things had gotten out of hand in our phone conversation. Guess what? I came home from grocery shopping angry at the world, and he used the "as if" attitude on me. I knew what he was doing, but couldn't help myself from smiling and he turned my mood right around.
We're having a party Saturday, so we shall see if he pays more attention to me then like I have asked for.
This asking for what you want really works.
I did ask in a round about way if he had feelings for me. (His mom made him a mousepad with a wedding pic on it for his work -she means well, but it didn't go over.) I told him I would take it. He got angry and said "just because I don't love you doesn't mean our memories don't mean anything to me." Well, at least now he is admitting that. He had said he couldn't remember good times. Now he does. (Baby step to add to the "I don't care about you" changing to "I do care.") I took it badly that he said he still doesn't love me. But, then again, why bother? His actions say he does, so what?
He also told me that he was worried one night when I was in the bathroom too long. Said he was terrified I was going to "do something." Not a chance, I love life too much, but it was sweet to know he cares like that. (I was taking a long bath and had decided to kill a bottle of wine while I was at it, so I was probably in there for a long time)
We've made plans to go away for his Japanese sword making class in July to Canada, and he enthusiastically agreed to go away with me alone for a bike riding weekend in Vermont. (Goals met-making future plans AND going away alone - score 2!!!)
Anyway, things are not perfect, but just wanted to post for you guys and gals out there who are getting discouraged. Some of us are DBing with great results and our Rs are improving. So, don't get discouraged, it can work.
rottzilla--great attitude! of course you were upset when he said he didn't love you, but you took it in stride and got right back on track--good for you!
rottzilla, how exciting for you. When I read your new goals it made a light bulb go off in my head. great developments are happening for you!!! Hugs & prayers
Halo
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
to post? LOL If so, Yeah, you! 
