Bye bye limbo -- it's time for a change

[Sotto]

Hi Mleigh, sorry to hear about your medical symptoms. Hopefully a consultation will bring some clarity and reassurance for you. It is a stressful time - even if a different kind of stress - and can upset our equilibrium.

In my situation, I found there was a disconnect between how my XH thought things would be divided in our D and how the law said they should be divided. It seemed to help having his L in the mix, because I think she gave him a reality check on how this would actually work. I wouldn't expect your H to be with you every step on the way in this. The most I would aim for is reasonable cooperation, with you (and you both if he chooses so) being supported by legal advisors.

Yes, maybe your H is casually seeing someone or maybe dabbling with OLD - who knows? But certainly suspicious behaviour from what you describe. I think the scattered thinking is common from what I read on the forums. My XH would sail past junctions he regularly took, just because he was 'elsewhere' in his mind.

I would just try and maintain a 'bigger picture' perspective here. You want to D, and maintain a reasonable relationship for your S's sake. You also want to achieve a fair division of marital assets and agree suitable financial arrangements going forwards.

I agree, that it is unlikely to be plain sailing, given that you already have differing views on how this should work. But if you aim for grace during the process yourself - even whilst standing up for what is fair - that is what I would go for...

Take care and I hope you feel better soon xx