Infidelity is a breach of trust. Trust is something that is given by choice by Blu. It isn't yours to earn.
If you have agreed to respect Blu privacy here then that too is a breach of trust. So renegotiate.
This is a no brainerbrainer isn't it? breaching trust in a new and different area is causing more doubt. Anger is a clear indication a fundamental barrier is breached.
If you wish to heal and repair and build a new M, then realise breaches of trust are creating serious issues.
When we breach another's boundaries, we have no rights over their anger. And trying to control their ability to be angry and disgusted with our breach is yet another breach!
They have the right to be angry at such breaches. Of course we are also angry or hurt from what we learn. It triggers insecurity too which creates behaviour and further damage.
They have the right to not trust in an area where you have breached trust. They have the right to not forgive you ever in that area. That's their right. It can not be controlled.
All you have is control over yourself, it's a big job. There is you, Blu and your M. It is Blu turn to heal.
Relax, stop! Grow and have help with the need to control and discuss ways to atone to yourself, Blu and your M.
I suspect you know this already and I trust are atoning in ways that Blu needs you to atone for her, in ways you need to atone for you.
If you agree not to read here, then don't do it, it is yet another breach of trust.
Just saying
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
