Sounds like some interesting stuff. I am not a mean, vindictive, or cruel person. I have done not one thing to "out" my husband for what he has done and one of the biggest reasons I have not filed for divorce (other than my lawyer's instruction not to) is that I would have to publicly set forth the allegations that make me not trust him to parent our fragile 14 year old son without some strict rules to protect son in place.
My suggestion to speak to him was because I approach these things with what I would want someone to do for me. Perhaps that is wrong, and as I said, of all people on this board I would trust you to make the best, truest, most rational decision on something affecting your life.
I spent three years "knowing" there was something hideously wrong with my marriage. I begged him to tell me over and over what the problem was. I told him I knew something was wrong. That he was distant with me and the kids. I told him how much I was hurting over it and how badly I wanted him to work with me to fix it. He looked me right in the eye and told me over and over again that there was nothing going on and that he was just stressed/busy at work.
Had he been honest, or had OW1 contacted me, I would have stayed firm where I was in my home and my job. My daughter would have spent her last 2 years of school with her friends in a supportive environment instead of being shipped off to boarding school where she floundered. I would have been in the office every day at work, seeing what was going on first-hand, and preventing something awful that would have come later. I wouldn't be sitting here every day asking myself how I missed three years of a sordid affair, how I tolerated the cruelty, how I made poor decisions for me and my children trying to make him happy.
I wasn't suggesting that you publicly out them at all. But it sounds like you've spent a fair amount of time with these folks. I read the pain and doubt in your posts over whether there was something more to this relationship and what that did to you. I imagine Mr. Bubbles is having similar thoughts and similar feelings. He too may be questioning his sanity.
I suggested it because if does push he and Bubbles together, it will simply fast-track that situation, including its demise. My H carried a torch for his EA for years and years. It is what drove him to OW1 (that relationship folded in 3 weeks from the day it became real after living largely in fantasy for 4 years). Fantasies are much more potent than reality. I suggested it because your H looks like he is stuck in a similar fantasy and is hurting himself and others by so engaging.
In the end, of course this is your decision. I just wanted you to understand why I proposed it and why I would very much want someone to tell me, even if it hurt and even if ended more quickly a marriage that probably wasn't great to begin.
