Living in the Present, only Looking Forward

[Coconut]

For example, if you look at their pictures and you see them wearing a nice dress, then you can tell them that you have a dress just like that and you enjoy wearing it to parties.

I guess to be able to pull this one off, I’ll need to delete the pic of me in a dress, otherwise they’ll know it’s not the same one they have.

Most everyone says to take at least six months if not a year to just work in you. Do you think you are really emotionally ready for a new R?

I have been working on me for over a year, never even considered dating during that time period and knew I wasn’t in a place to do so.

You are not alone as I've seen this happen with several others here as well. Getting a D takes such a toll on a person. It brings up so much amd so much hurt. The way to soften the hurt is not a new R. Sadly it's the only thing that some people know. They feel naked not having someone.

I get what you are saying, and I wasn't ready to date for a long time.. But I haven't talked to my ex since we separated in October of 2016, and hardly talked since I decided to separate in July 2016. Leading up to the D I was hurt because I had always held out hope that she would at least reach out before we D and she never did, then about 2 weeks before the D I found out she had a boyfriend, so I knew I wouldn't hear from her before the D. I wasn’t hoping for reconciliation, just closure.

Since the D, I haven't really thought of her, I definitely haven't dwelled on the past, and I feel a burden lifted. I no longer think about possibilities of saving my M, I don’t miss the life I used to have (except being closer to my son). I really am not hurting, at all.

As for feeling naked not having someone, that’s not me, I’m actually more comfortable being alone than with someone. I’ve never needed someone in my life, to the point that I often wonder how they will fit in my life, wondering what I’m willing to share, give up or take on. But I do miss having dinners out, conversation, someone to go places with (I go alone, but not as much fun). I don’t need someone to complete me, I am just looking for someone to spend time with.

In addition to OLD, I’m also joining another fishing club that is local instead of statewide like the one I’m currently in, and I’m going to start attending a board game meetup. I’m not sure about the meetup because I’m not really that much into games, but it’s a big group and held at someone’s house twice a month and by the pics looks like a fun time. I’m still looking for more activities to get into locally, but meetup doesn’t have anything else I’m interested in (I’m in a somewhat small town).