To feel things out (metaphorically), I'll often say something that's totally off-the-wall. For example, if you look at their pictures and you see them wearing a nice dress, then you can tell them that you have a dress just like that and you enjoy wearing it to parties. One woman was wearing a Yankee's baseball cap so I asked her what the hell she was doing with my hat (I told her I'd lost the hat a couple of weeks ago).
That approach seems to separate the wheat from the chaff (to an extent). Some of the women don't "get it" and that filters them out; the others will write back and often a lengthy volley will ensue.
