Hoping this can be saved, but having doubts

[reframe]

Yeah, I'm struggling with not checking emails, etc.. Even though I know it's not good for me. I keep finding that she is clearly planning on divorce (once she's in a financial position to do so) and a life without me, and has also done some impressive mental gymnastics to make me the bad guy.

She always felt that she wasn't good enough for me, and apparently I was not mentally abusive and am the reason for her insecurity (which I'm nearly completely sure comes from within her).

This is where the patience part is really difficult. Right now I'm supporting her financially, and providing companionship and the like when she wants it.

I feel a lot like I'm being used, by someone who is biding her time and has already checked out.

Part of my very much wants to say "if you want to leave, go be on your own". But I also know from reading on here that she may well work through these attitudes and they might change, so I probably should be patient and not confront any of this. It's only been a few months, but it feels like an eternity. Especially when her perceptions of me seem so disconnected from the reality I've experienced.