I am back to square one. I am truly so defeated right now. No matter how hard I try to fix things, I can't. There are always forces against me and I would like to just catch an ounce of luck, but I can't.
Ginger,
How do you know that you aren't very luck? What if you'd been offered, and accepted, one of those positions only to find that you hated it even more than your current position?
Do you know, relative to the all of the people on Earth, you're probably in the top 5% percent based on quality of life? What if you'd been born in Somalia? You need to start appreciating what you've got and be thankful for the good in your life. You spend far too much time wallowing in self pity.
Figure out what you want, set some goals and start working your way toward the goals. One goal may be to find an IC that will actually challenge you rather than kiss your @ss.
