Trust me, it wasn't always like this. I didn't meet OWW until after they were married, a little over 2 years later. I couldn't do it. Luckily I was detached enough by then. I had to make a decision for my D, considering this has ben her position since the beginning of her life she needs to see people who can be in the same room with no animosity. And it has been 10 years, so my detachment is there. I can put aside my personal hurt long enough for my daughter to feel comfortable. My D10 even made a mention last night about how she has never seen me and her father fight in front of her and she knows a lot of divorced parents do that. I am glad I can make her comfortable. It is what always makes me think of taking a bullet for my child. This is my bullet. What I do is not the norm though. ANd thank you, I will have fun, and hope to meet some cute guys, haha!
Journaling:
Yesterday and this morning was really an assault to me. I found out the job I have had my application under review for since Oct, well, those 2 positions have been filled. The possibility is all that gets me through my work days, and that is now gone. The other position where they were checking to see if they can make it a lateral move paywise, well, I came to work this AM to find out it isn't. I am back to square one. I am truly so defeated right now. No matter how hard I try to fix things, I can't. There are always forces against me and I would like to just catch an ounce of luck, but I can't.
I am just sitting at my desk trying to stop the tears from welling up.
