Blu, how are you doing? Your previous post was full of emotion so I would imagine your spinning a little. I hope you'll use this place as a "safe" outlet to vent, but with the amount of IRL people that know your SN, I imagine that you will never be able to write anything without thinking that someone you know is going to read this. I think that will really limit your ability to speak freely and that is unfortunate.
Are you currently seeing an IC? If not, you may want to consider it to have someone really help you process everything that is going on with you and in your life.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized